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Wednesday, May 02, 2007
10:38 PM Hop To It Has it really been a whole year since this time last year? My, how time flies. Only 12 months ago I was being paid to surf the net, make fortune cookies and go shopping for braces. Well, at least until Ben Fong-Torres of Rolling Stone magazine came on the scene and gave my chump ass a good grilling.  Not literally, of course. But yes, literally. Crazy! I like what we're saying, let's see if I can get you another thousand words. Get it together man, you're not there to join the party. It only takes 18 minutes a page. Ah, to think in that in that time the giant flaming ball that we call the Sun has moved in a giant circle around us. Yes, you heard me, around us. Why should I believe we go around the sun? Just because some scientists told us? Bollocks to that. I refuse to believe in them religious types (who in turn simply believe other religious types just because they said so). So why should I listen to science? OK, they all perform rigorous experiments and gather empirical evidence to back up their findings. But still, why should I believe them? How do I know all these exspearmints were authentic? If I took their word for gospel (see what I did there?) then I'd simply be believing them without seeing any proof, just like those religious people who suck up to God. Once again, bollocks to that. From now on, everything will be black and white. I'm not going to believe anything, unless it's based on any sciencetific exspearmints that I've carried out. So here it is: The Gospel According to Skilleans: 1. Thou shalt notice that the mixing of vinegar with bicarbonate of soda results in a big foamy expansion. 2. Rubbing a balloon on thy bonce will cause it to stick against wall (that's thy balloon, not thy bonce). That's about all I've got so far, but expect several volumes to be written, subsequently lost, re-written, and then misinterpreted, thus causing all the wars of the future. Leave a comment ::
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Ooo… I'm clearing space on my book shelves as I, er, type!
You get a free set of steak knives if you order online.
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