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Tuesday, March 20, 2007
8:19 PM Misunderstandment So I went to Sainsburys after work today to do my weekly shop. Naturally the trolley was packed with plenty of healthy stuff; wholemeal this, low fat that, chocholate Hob Nobs. After curling around the aisles at breakneck speeds and making screeching noises, I found myself in the cereals section. Ah, the days when I could grab a huge box of reconstituted wheat covered in tons of sugar and chemicals purely because it contained a toy or tokens to get a Frosties cereal bowl... Not any more, being grown up (or at least the age of a grown up person) means that you have to start doing things healthier; let's face it, the only people over the age of 18 who eat Frosties are students and people who are so boring they feel they need to eat them in an attempt to show off a quirky streak. Anyway, there I am, ready to pounce on a big bag of bleachy Alpen when I caught sight a section I hadn't seen before:  Woah, KINKY!!! Now that's the kind of dirty dirty cereal that I should be buying! Obviously I'd need to go home and get a trenchcoat and sunglasses as I wouldn't want anyone recognising me buying stuff like that. And I'd have to say something to the girl on the till in case she gave me a funny look... "I only buy it for the ingredients, honest". As I ran towards it, slipping around on the drool covered supermarket floor, my hopes were dashed:  Weetabix? Shredded Wheat? That's not dirty, that's sensible! This was the biggest case of flagrant mis-advertising since the Stoners Pot Place. Though it did get me thinking how popular a range of proper adult cereals could actually be. Dild-O's perhaps? Golden Showers? Dominatrabix? It'd be hella fun, maybe even a little scary:  The safety word is "Grrrrrrreeeeaaaaaat!" ----- Rule #1: Never trust any person who has a pay-as-you-go mobile phone. They're the most unreliable people in the world. They never ever call anyone, or if they do they pretend to lose reception early on in the conversation so that you have to call them back. They whinge about not having any credit, and take any and every opportunity to use someone else's house phone. Can't be doing with it. They're the modern version of the biblical lepers from Ben Hur, they should be cast out of decent society and pointed at with taunts of "unclean!". Either that or sent to The Planet of the Moochers. Leave a comment ::
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I'm quite partial to a bowl of Oats-so-slutty.
I quite like the flexibility of Pay as you go actually. I guess its different here in oz, $50 gets you $230 worth of credit. it called a cap and lots of people here in Oz, when they move in to a house dont get a home phone because....why? you dont need one. i guess convicts like shit cheap.
If I had been drinking hot chocolate, I would have lost it at the safety word. Awesome.
Perhaps the adult cereal has er,an exciting prize in the box.
I'm with Tim - not literally, you understand. I'm sure he'd have something to say about that... No. I'm with Tim in the chocolatey spitting - Eww, now that sounds pervy and wrong.
IDV, were they just regular porn flakes, or crunchy nut porn flakes?
tim - I'll have a bowl! I'm a big fan of both oats and... erm...
Heh heh! You said c***!
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