Monday, February 26, 2007

8:42 PM 

Bleachy Head

Sheryl Crow said that a change will do you good, and I suppose I agree. But there's one time that is sacred, and in that time CHANGE IS NOT GOOD. That time is, of course, mornings. You're never fully awake, possibly hungover, running late- this ain't being the time to try out something new things. I don't get out of bed and think "Hmmmm... maybe I'll try dancing like Malcolm Jamal-Warner for a few minutes before I go for a shower". No, that would result me in being late.

The morning routine (shave, shower, teeth, clothes, cereal, traffic news, MTV2) is sacred, and anything that inteferes with that is not working on behalf of the Force. Well, it just so happens that today something went a little wrong. And not just "couldn't find the keys" wrong, no. I mean weird wrong.

I poured my bowl-o-Alpen and sat down to eat whilst watching the new Biffy Clyro video Saturday Superhouse. A few mouthfuls in, and I noticed a peculiar smell eminating from my muesli. The smell?

Bleach.

Eurgh! My food smelt like f*cking BLEACH!!!!!! What the hell is that about?! Where the hell did bleach come from?! Three contenders:

1) The Alpen. Not likely as I smelt the bag and it smelt of Alpen.
2) The bowl?
3) The milk.

3 was the most likely, so I sniffed the bottle. It smelt of milk. I then smelt the empty bowl (contents being disposed of with great difficulty) and nothing.

This was most incredibly confusing. But no more time to investigate, I had to catch the bus.

Well, it's possible that I've consumed bleach and could be dead by morning (I've been feeling ok all day, but the small amounts I may have ingested could take time to affect me). It's not quite the rock-and-roll-death-by-cress-at-27 that I was hoping for, but it's a pretty cool second place. Death by bleachy Alpen!

Anyway, it kinda reminded me of that bit in Napoleon Dynamite:



"The defect in this one is bleach"

It also reminded me of the utterly AWESOME song Bleach by Easyworld. What ever happened to them?




Leave a comment     ::

 

 

 

    

 

 

Lead singer left to do own project.
posted by Anonymous Sting  


I had a similar experience not long ago. Every time I had a bath or shower, for a period of about 6 weeks, I could smell bleach. It made no sense, and I immediately decided there must be bleach in the water, DANGEROUS!! How much had I consumed? Was it to blame for my pale complexion? Then, one day, I realised it was actually the Sanex Moisturising body wash I was using. It smells okay when in the bottle, but as soon as I put it into water it turned to Domestos. So I stopped using it. So it might be that, as I noticed you did have a shower before the 'incident.'
posted by Blogger iPandah  


Dang… bleach…

Well if the pain in your gut from the bleach is too much, you could always throw yourself off Bleachy Head.
posted by Blogger Tim  


Are you talking about Easyworld or yourself Sting?

iP - I'm not sure it's shower gel because I've used my Adidas Extreme Sport for People Who Hardly Ever Can Be Arsed To Break Into a Sweat shower gel for ages. Maybe if I start using Domestos instead I'll get so used to the smell that I won't notice it.

tim - I'm feeling pretty ok, but if anything else ever offends me I'll be sure to take up your advice.
posted by Blogger skillz  




 
    a r c h i v e s


February 2005/ March 2005/ April 2005/ May 2005/ June 2005/ July 2005/ August 2005/ September 2005/ October 2005/ November 2005/ December 2005/ January 2006/ February 2006/ March 2006/ April 2006/ May 2006/ June 2006/ July 2006/ August 2006/ September 2006/ October 2006/ November 2006/ December 2006/ January 2007/ February 2007/ March 2007/ April 2007/ May 2007/ June 2007/ July 2007/ August 2007/ November 2007/ February 2008/

 
     

Other

contact me

 

  
    Blogs

somej.net - sparky malarky - iPandah - the world as i see it - strega nona solves it - dinah says nothing - Growing Up Twisted - inexplicable device -