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Thursday, January 18, 2007
6:50 PM Hendrix Said He Almost Plotzed A really strange thing happened to me on the train home today. I did my usual routine of reading until I reach Finchley Road, at which point I pass out. I don't know what it is, no matter how hard I try and stay awake to read, all the letters go blurry and I conk out. There are two possible reasons: 1. There's a chloroform factory at Finchley Road. Good, because I'm always on the lookout for cheap chloroform. Bad, because I can't avoid it. 2. I'm suffering from Tony Soprano style panic attacks. Good, because Tony is something of a hero in my regard and any chance to be more like him would be awesome. Bad, because I can't afford to see a Melfi or pay for the cost of smashing up her coffee (or is that'cwaffi') table. Anyway, I'm passed out, elbow on the window and fist pushing my cheek up against my eye with drool coming out my mouth. I woke up a while later when my phone went off, and as I looked up bleary -eyed, I saw my old maths teacher from high school sitting in front of me! He used to be quite strict, and he didn't suffer fools. But paradoxically he seemed to like me, and once said my mental maths (that maffs you do in your head, not maffs you do whilst at a rave) was the best in the class. That was until I started sniffing glue and it all went to shit :/ So yeah, there he was! I was asking him how he was and what he'd been doing with his life. Apparently he stopped teaching, and spent all his time on his boat on a lake and that he had no friends where he was. He looked kinda pale and grey, there was quite a cold, sad, lonliness about him. I felt really bad for him as we chatted, and for some reason everyone was giving me really odd looks. I told him about how (until quite recently) my nightmares used to involve being in an A-Level maths exams and realising I hadn't done any revision, and he explained how that meant I felt I was unprepared in life and not where I wanted to be. As I rolled in to my stop I waved goodbye and headed off home. I got to my PC, googled him up and saw a news article about him: "January 18th, 1998: Maths teacher drowns in freak boating accident" :I Nah not really. ----- I got my new phone this week, woo! It's great, I can make calls and send textual messages to people. Aside from its mammoth 3.2mp camera it also has the funnest miniature golf game evah! Ana even sent me a photo message of her bongos:  ----- Work has been kicked up a notch. I've been working constantly on a task where I know we'll never reach our target, kinda demoralising. What's worse is Daniels has swanned off for three days so I've got nobody to have lip-read conversations and do Super Secret Sign Language with. On the plus side, and I always try and look for positives, I can now listen to Xfm via the innernet all day! ----- "It's windy as hell out there!" Yup, very windy. As the Germans say, "es ist windig". Trees falling everywhere, planes falling out the sky, it's almost like the start of a low production movie about the apocalypse. And I don't have a f**king coat!!! My hoodie isn't enough to protect me, neither is my flick-knife. Strangely, I've not been sick since 2005. I'm pretty sure I've got the cure for the common cold hidden in my immune system, maybe I can inject it into others to cure them? Oh dear, that sounds like either the worst or best chat-up line. No, wait- yup, definitely the worst. Leave a comment ::
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Did you knock on wood after saying you haven't been sick? otherwise you're going to be sick tomorrow.
I did, and got a splinter in hy hand. I think it's gone septic :/
Maths teacher story was quite chilling.
Is that the same phone containing the spritely 'Thistle' ring tone? I like Thistle, it's a catchy number. If not, then, um, well you're missing out.
IDV - I'm planning on sending an extended draft to Stephen King.
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