I always thought it would be kind of funny to heckle in a theatre just once... but then I found out that if you do that in the West End they ban you from ALL West End theatres...

Why don't you learn an incredibly stupid and unuseful skill? Like knitting. Something that would only be called into use in a bizarre life and death situation? (OK, knitting's not a good example...)
posted by  Tim  

I think you should try and appear in the background of a news report. But look intelligent, don't wave or try and shout obscenities. Perhaps you could have a banner saying 'Has anyone seen my coat?' on it.
posted by  iPandah  

* snigger *

I love ipandah's suggestion.

If you don't want to do that, you could fall over somewhere crowded, point at the nearest old lady and yell "She pushed me!"
posted by  Inexplicable DeVice  

Tim - the knitting idea intrigues me. I wonder how long it takes to learn? It's kinda feminine though, maybe I could learn to do it with barbed wire or something.

iP - That sounds pretty good, but it'd be hard to find a news report happening. Unless I kill someone and then wait for the reporters to arrive!

IDV - We're going into Fight Club territory there. Maybe I should try it with my boss where they keep me on the payroll as an outside consultant and in exchange for my salary, my job will be never to tell people these things that I know about bar codes. I don't even have to come into the office, I can do this job from home.
posted by  skillz  

I like your idea better, old people don't seem to get as much bad press as they used to, which is wrong, cos they're all EVIL.
posted by  iPandah  

Maybe you could find a news report and hold up a sign saying "Has anyone seen my old person?"

Naturally one has to be to visit old friends more often.

My resolution this year is the same as last year: "Less unnecessary drinking" i.e. only have a drink when socially required to do so. Or i'm thirsty. Or good tv is on. Or the day ends in the letter y. You get the idea.
posted by  J-Man  

From your favourite anonymous poster:

8. Accomplish a drinking feat of your choice (suggestions include yard of ale, 60 beers in 60 minutes or circle line pub crawl)

9. Find a new, different haircut that also looks good.

10. Take part in an activist protest (suggestions include Darfur, the arrest of Bono on humanitarian grounds or the Campaign Against Those Bloody Animal Rights Activists - CATBARA)
posted by  Anonymous  

Knitting is fun! Yeah, kind of feminine, but hockey players in the 50s would knit during down times! And you can't get more masculine than Canadian hockey players in the 1950s.
posted by  Dinah  

End a phone call with "I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT", for a double you actually have to sue them in the small claims court.

I managed the second part last year, but not the first :(

Give up smoking? I've done pretty well so far, managed not to smoke for three days. Ok, so I didn't smoke anyway, but still....
posted by  Tom  

how about, adopt a hamster? go on go on go on go on go on.
posted by  Jen  

J - Giving up drinking? Have you even managed to stop smoking yet?

andi - If I protest about anything it'll be a campaign to get Lily Allen shot from a cannon aimed at the sun. Or at the very least give her a Hannibal Lecter mask

Dinah - is that true? All I know about ice hockey is Gretsky, Maple Leafs and Emilio Estavez, so I can't tell if you're kidding

tomasz - You took someone to court? Was it taking a club to court for crimes against music?

Jen - I wouldn't rule out adoption, but I'd like to try and have one naturally first.
posted by  skillz  

I'm dead serious. We don't joke about hockey. It's supposed to improve hand-eye coordination.
posted by  Dinah  

I took my bank to court, but we settled out of court for a four figure sum, and I gave them a stern look and everything.

www.bankactiongroup.co.uk if you've ever paid bank fees :)
posted by  Tomasz  

Patel Old Boy!
Apologies for the lack of comment in recent times but I forgot the website address and as im in Oz it wasnt to easy to find out! Regardless, a guess while i was online this arvo and it turned out all good! Anyway, enough digressing, my suggestion: "Help turn Mo into the stud of the year - a la 'she's all that' etc". Because, in fairness, what better thing is there than to help those less gifted than oursleves, eh?!
posted by  Tanna  

not exactly a *new* year resolution is it, we've been trying that for ages! besides, I'd rather do it on myself first before I help anyone else out!

He does like Rachel Leigh Cook if I remember right.
posted by  skillz