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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
7:09 PM Work Work Work (Pub Club Sleep) Next week at work is our Annual General Meeting. Does that deserve to be capitalised? Whatever the case, it's next week. We got emails asking if we wanted to go, and I of course had to shout out a resounding "Hell yeah!". Why? Well, truth be told, I've never been to an AGM before. All I know about them things is what I learnt from Wall Street (where Gecko does his famous "I'm a good deal greedy" speech) and the AGM from Futurama (where the woman keeps talking about her cat and Scruffy keeps saying "Second!"). Add to that the fact there's free food and drink, and I was onto a winner. Or so I thought. I got a memo today saying I was supposed to go a prep meeting for the AGM. Why would I need to be prepped? As it turns out, they were all discussing how the whole thing was gonna be run; who would be handing out name tags, pointing towards the main hall etc. SOMEHOW and SOMEWHEN the email I sent accepting the invite turned out to be a way of involuntarily lassooing me into being a serf. NO!!!!!! So now I've got to turn up and walk about with a tray of Ferrero Rochers whilst the creme de la creme of barcodes hob-nob about. This is NOT good. ----- More bad news: Miss K is leaving! You may remember her from a previous post, she's the name that I picked out of the Secret Santa hat who I've stalked for the past few weeks in order to figure out what to get. It turned out she was a really cool person, but she's leaving several weeks before Christmas. At least I get to save a fiver though. ----- MORE more bad news: I got the following email today... > From: THE BOSS > Sent: 01 November 2006 16:02 > To: ME > Subject: Meeting on 14th November > > > Just a heads up > > During your next 1-2-1 meeting which is scheduled to take place on the 14th November, I would like us to discuss your work objectives going forward. > > Could I ask you to have a think of some of work objectives which are SMART (specific, measureable,attainable,realistic and timely) objectives we could talk about during this meeting. > > > THE BOSS What the hell does that mean?! Is it my imagination, or do these business people think of clever sounding acronyms first and then think of which words it could stand for? Maybe I'll just copy the objectives off some briefcase man on the way in to work and change some of the words around, or whatever it is kids do today when they cheat on their homework. They probably Wiki it up these days. Hang on a sec.... Found it! This business bullsh*t is actually real!! SMART (project management) From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search SMART is a mnemonic used in project management at the project objective setting stage. It is a way of evaluating if the objectives that are being set are appropriate for the individual project. A SMART objective is one that is: * Specific o the goal and methods are clearly defined * Measurable o the objectives are measured numerically * Achievable o humanly possible, and the project has all the required resources * Relevant o avoid the temptation of defining a goal just because it fits nicely to the previous three criteria * Time framed o set deadlines That's just spewing out what was on the email! I just want something I can print out and hand in for marking so I can get back to playing with my stickle-bricks :( UPDATE 9/11: I think Homer had the right idea with SMART Leave a comment ::
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Ohmygod! First of all - AMG: SUCKAAAAA!
You want to drop some bullshit bingo on the boss:
tim - but the bait I fell for was the free food and drink. the best of us fall for traps, even chewbacca got lured into one on endor when he saw a random chunk of meat.
We used to have those! We even had templates emailed to us with all this crap on so we just had to fill it in. Might have one I could mail you? Then you can just copy our gubbins and she'll think you're a genius! Which obviously you are, but not in the way she appreciates.
that'd be awesome iP, thanks so much! My addy is snaelliks (backwards) at gmail dot com
She sounds like a female David Brent....
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