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Wednesday, November 15, 2006
7:27 PM Monster Monster Monster! What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a mon-steeeeer? NO! It was the movie Monster that was on Channel 4 last night. What a great film. Christina Ricci did her best to look like Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky, but the show was definitely stolen by Jon Voight's performance as maniac hooker Arlene Plimpton*. His constant twitching and scratching was reminiscient of Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. If you've not seen it, do. It's as good (no better, no worse) than Monsters Ball, probably better than Monsters Inc, but not as good as the song The Monster Mash. *OK, that's Uma from Kill Bill. I don't know what Monster's name was. ----- The battle of the sexes; you've gotta love it! It may be a cheap laugh, but there's nothing funnier than getting into little arguments with your colleagues about how women have it easier than men. I mean, they just have to bat their eyelashes and the opposite sex will flock around. They live longer, start their pensions earlier, and get gullible men to do any and every task they don't want to. Obviously someone played the 'giving birth' card, and I caused a few shocked faces when I said "Yeah, but billions of women have given birth in the past squatting in an arid field, and without drugs. Suck it up, be a man about it and just take one for the team!". I was, of course, just kidding. Women do have it harder. But it's fun nonetheless! Anyway, it all reminded me of the song Being a Girl by Mansun; a modern critique of metrosexualism. Is a good song! You like, yes? ----- Speaking of music, man, how ace is music?! The mp3s (or iTunes if that's how you choose to live your life) that you have in your computer box: just how important are they to you? I'd be gutted if I lost mine. OK, I can quite easily back them up on DVD, but they'll be missing one of the most important parts, namely a little field called Date Created. My mp3s are arranged into folders that run September-to-September, and store all the songs I downloaded in that particular time period. Each song is a memory, and each song has the date that it happened. Let's put Media Player on random and pull a few out... 4hero - Les Fleur: I remember listening to this on loop whilst doing a special project for my final year of uni; it involved copydex glue, scissors and coloured cardboard. Might sound like a kids project (and to all extents is actually was) but I aced that badboy and got a first! (28 October 2001, 14:00:40) Pete Yorn - For Nancy: Another final year one... All I remember is staying in my halls all alone during the holiday, working all hours on an economics report and drinking warm orange juice from a large box. You know, when it's gone off and tastes a little *spikey*. Bleurgh! (09 March 2002, 09:30:04) Biffy Clyro - 27: This one... just... *chokes up*. I'm going to do the blokey thing and bury this memory deep and do manly things instead like chiselling a bathroom cabinet from a tree or something. Leave me alone! ----- At work today I had to phone up a guy called... get this... Ramjam Funkyboogaloo-Smythe. I. Kid. You. Not. There was no answer luckily, I don't know what I would have said! Obviously I googled him, and lo and behold there he was: He looks a bit like a squashed ginger version of Tim from The Office. ----- As Homer Simpsons once wisely opined, "...life is one crushing defeat after another, until you just wish Flanders was dead..." That may be true, but there are little things like this that get me through it all:  One squeeze baby! Bang on twenty! Leave a comment ::
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The giving birth card is rather like using the Holocaust in a discussion of anything.
Ooh, I know what I'll be attempting next time I go to the petrol station!
We had this debate, my friend came up with the best defence against all womens troubles...
What, you are under the impression that all girls do is take long, hot, steamy showers and lather up our heaving, soft and deliciously squidgy chests over, and over, and over?
It's dangerous to use your mobile at petrol stations
Great quotage, my favourite? Well there are too many. But I do love:
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