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Monday, October 16, 2006
6:34 PM The Joy of Wax My weekly trip to the supermarket this week resulted in some great purchases. There were two essential items in my inventory that were running low; gel and cherry bakewells. Seeing as how going 8 hours without a bakewell hit results in my hands shaking and a prolonged sense of paranoid dread sweeping over me, they were the first things to hit the basket. And what did I find?  New improved recipe?? NO!!!!! They've tinkered with perfection and probably ruined it, just like they ruined Kinder eggs. Only, get this, they actually taste even better. The fruit jam layer is a lot more gooey, and the almond dances on the pallette like a Bollywood film. If only they'd get rid of the bloody cherry and replace it with another mini cherry bakewell.... Mmmmmmmm Second on the list was hair gel. Routine purchase usually, but I was tempted by the tub of wax next to it. I'd not really tried it before, and if it didn't work I'd risk going to work the next day with a big uncontrolled bouffant. What to do, what to do... I remembered the advert with the indie guy who gets the hot girl and decided on wax. But the gel guy got the hot girl too. Just to cover my bases I got both. I'm *so* gullible. Products purchased, I got up this morning in complete darkness (stupid Autumn, waking up when it looks like night time is just WRONG), got ready, and got ready to get waxed. Seeing as this was my first waxing, I read the instructions and was greatly perturbed:  "Rub a nut-sized amount of Remix into the palm". Nut-sized?! What the hell does that mean? Peanut? Coconut? Testicle?!?!?! The gel bottle was no help, it said to use a dollop. Again, what exactly constitutes a 'dollop'? I may have to write to L'Oreal and complain. In fact, I just did: Hello I recently purchased a tub of Remix wax and a bottle of Radical gel. They tell me to use a 'nut-sized' amount and 'dollop' respectively when styling my hair. What exactly do these terms mean? I work in metric, and the days of your phased our imperial measurements are a distant memory. Thanking you in advance! Maybe they'll send me a bunch of free stuff by way of apology. Maybe a signed photo of Scarlett Johansson.? Maybe Scarlett Johansson!! That'd be awesome. Anyway, I just winged it and used 2ml of said wax. The result? Perfect hold, without the hardness gel has. If a balloon bounced off my bonce it would no longer pop. Both items a success. Result. Leave a comment ::
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I laughed and laughed when I read nut. Nut! Oh, what is this world coming to
"A web of fibres?" Are these styling instructions for Spider-Man?!
Still no reply from L'Oreal :(
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