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Thursday, September 28, 2006
7:38 PM Lazy Lazy Thursday A good day today. Not great, not average, just good. Today has got pleasant written through it like a stick of Brighton rock. What happened? Well, first I got up and had a piece of toast. Then I brushed my teeth. Then I went to the store to buy some fish... Ahaha, not really! Well, I did do the usual rat race to work, with an Indiana Jones style last-gasp jump through the closing tube doors (bonus points for managing to stick my arm back out again and grab a copy of the Metro just as they shut). At work it was the same old same old; bar this, code that, make a mug of green tea etc. However, controversy was looming! Her what works in HR decided to send around fwd email. You know the one; to impress a woman a man must be tender, loving strong, rich, able to cook... etc YAWN.. ending with "To impress a man... show up naked, bring beer". High-larious. Naturally I was deeply offended. The insinuation that men are a bunch of drunken horny retards didn't sit well. Loads of other characteristics in women impress me, such as: * Funky hairdo * Glasses * A love of good music (ie the crap music I like) * Willingness to make a pratt of herself * Someone who doesn't say "I'm not stupid yeah", because anyone that goes out of their way to say they're not stupid IS * An arse that would make Santa cry from happiness * Bringing beer * Turning up naked and literally 3 other things. Well, I could have replied to her what works in HR listing these points, but I decided to do the next best thing; squeal! Yup, I lodged a complaint about the sexist and demeaning email, and sent it to to the appropriate delegate who deals with these matters. Unfortunately, the appropriate person was her what works in HR. She laughed, deleted the mail and joked about extending my probationary period. I still can't believe it! If she was any sort of professional she would have lodged a complaint against herself. She was clearly not doing her job by deleting the email. I mean, if she's the police, then who polices the police? I did cheer up a bit later though when we got a copy of our company's magazine. Whilst doing the usual flick through to laugh at all the spoddy nerds and make up captions for the pictures, I stumbled upon this picture:  Hmmmmm, what sort of a joke could anyone POSSIBLY make about that picture? I'm stumped. Any suggestions, do let me know ;) ----- Got my hair cut just now, feeling pretty teriffic. It should be at it's peak (short, but just long enough to style) in time to impress the hot ladies at First Friday next week. My barber also reassured me that even though I've got a few grey hairs I don't appear to be going bald. Phew. My drive home was great too. The rain made the air all fresh, and I was greeted to From Out of Nowhere by Faith No More and Dr Feelgood by Motley Crue on the car stereo. And what was sitting there when I opened my front door? Only a big heaving package from Amazon! I now am the proud owner of a box of 50 blank DVDs, Peep Show series 2 on DVD and The Third Chimpanzee by Jared Diamond. I got his book Collapse a couple of months back and loved it, and I've also got plans to read Guns Germs and Steel after I finish my current book The Illuminatus! Trilogy. Now, I'm not a major fan of fiction because I don't have the greatest attention span (ie I'm a bit thick), but I had read The Illuminatus! Trilogy. Why? Apparently it's the book that inspired a lot of the songs by The KLF, such as Justified and Ancient. And I'm not kidding when I say it's possibly the most confusing yet funniest book I've ever read. Let's turn to the current page I'm reading: "George went ape. He pulled his penis out of the apple and nearly fell backward down the stairs." It's proper weird. Anyway, might be a while till I get around to Chimpanzee, but I look forward to reading it. The Amazon Wish List is down by three items! I long for the day when it's empty. I'm starving now, so will make some food and settle down to an evening of Peep Show, Extras, Mitchell and Webb and then Sopranos. Bring it! Leave a comment ::
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Oh, that picture just brought out my latent Sid James tendencies!
"Janine avoided the bananas out of fear that her freakishly long arms would make her look like a gorilla."
Janine had a great pear.
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