Sunday, August 13, 2006

6:59 PM 

Stalker Update

After watching the football today, I was driving home thinking about The KLF. Maybe it was just a coincidence, I mean strange things can sometimes happen. Yes, that's all it was, a coincidence.

That was until I noticed a car that was tailing me.

What is a person to do? Drive normally? Try and outrun it? No, there was only one thing for it; slow down and bring it closer.

"You did WHAT?!" I hear you cry. Yup, bring it in closer, hit the brakes and watch it fly by- straight out of Top Gun!

So it flew past me, and I had it in my sights. I gave her the finger, and took a picture with my polaroid (well, cameraphone). And you'll never guess what the licence plate was:



Listen up love; if you're gonna stalk me then at LEAST try and do it in a slightly less conspicuous vehicle.

Sufficiently spooked, the car bugged out and I was left with a safe drive home. There was only one way to celebrate such a monumentous victory; time to buzz the tower. This basically involved driving past a person at high speed so that the splash from the puddle would cause them to spill their drink over themselves.

Splash that sucker, yeah! Great balls of fire!
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Oh my god - she's a freakin' psycho... she's a movie of the week - she's a t-shirt!

Maybe you should think about a restraining order?
posted by Blogger Tim  


I'm not stalking you...
posted by Anonymous KLF  


Phew...

Wait a second, if you're not stalking em then how did you find my blog?

AAAAAARGH!!!!! HELP!!!!

Tim- if she kills me, you have to tell the people my story! Don't worry, it shouldn't take long.
posted by Blogger skillz  


SHE FOUND YOU!!!!!

(btw - is she justified and ancient?)

Do I have to tell your story like Chunk in the Goonies? I'm not sure I could cry on demand - unless the Fratellis were threatening me, that is.
posted by Blogger Tim  


Chunk style would be good, but I'd prefer the "sitting around a campfire telling a story and playing notes on a flute" style that Bill has in Kill Bill 2.
posted by Blogger skillz  




 
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